The importance of “We” …

Couples who use the word "we" more than the word "I," appear to have stronger marriages because they have a greater sense of shared identity, reports of a study from the University of California, Berkeley. The results:

  • Those who used "we," "our" and "us" were better able to resolve the inevitable conflicts of marriage and acted more positively toward one another than the couples who used "I," "me" and "you," which emphasized their separateness. In addition to showing each other more affection and less anger, they felt less physiological stress during disagreements.
  • The "I" couples were more likely to be less satisfied with each other and more likely to be unhappy.
  • More older couples than middle-aged couples identified themselves as "we," suggesting that a lifetime of facing obstacles and overcoming challenges unites a couple over the long haul, giving them a greater sense of shared identity.